Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
