Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
