What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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