just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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