haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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