tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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