I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize