every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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