it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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