Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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