whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
no, he came in my armpit
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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