i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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