When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
