it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
