All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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