i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
