i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize