I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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