i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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