Banned from zoo.
Again?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
