im gay
i know
yea but for you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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