Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
