we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
NoShamevember. You game?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
