I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Randomize
