I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my shit smells like andre
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
