your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
