How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
