it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize