well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
