My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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