i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My vagina just recognized that song.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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