I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
