and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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