FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
