I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
