You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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