I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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