READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
