the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
