its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
