I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
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its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize