Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
