why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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