I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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