When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
