There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
