If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm way too hungover for life right now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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