Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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