At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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