So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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