i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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