still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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