Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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