my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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