no, he came in my armpit
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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