dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The adults are the big ones right?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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