I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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