i think my tv is drunk
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
