You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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