we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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