Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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