I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
