Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
