Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
