I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
