Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
